No one is good in bed

This text is not about substandard sexual performance. The point here is: to change yourself, first change your circumstances.

In 2017, I attended a lecture by Drauzio Varella where he said that he goes out to run very early every day. He said he always wakes up, gets out of bed and puts on his gym clothes. After that, he might choose not to run (for whatever reason). Before getting up and changing clothes, no negotiation.

The reason, according to him, is that no one is good in bed.

It’s hard work getting up early and going for a run, but it’s much easier once you’re awake, in gym clothes. In your warm, comfortable bed, in your pajamas, it’s much harder to resist the temptation of a nap.

It’s not that you’re a lazy vagabond. It’s because no one is actually good in bed.

If you want to change yourself, first change your circumstances.

Don’t make the commitment “I will run early every day, starting tomorrow,” but “I will put on gym clothes early every day, starting tomorrow.” You’ll feel like a fool if you’re in sports clothes and not running.

***

If you think it’s a wise choice to eat an apple instead of chocolate after lunch, the most critical decision is not choosing what you are going to eat; it is choosing what you’re going to buy.

If you have fruit and chocolate at your disposal, and if you have a taste for chocolate, it will be very difficult to choose the apple. Maybe the first day or the first week will be easy, but sooner or later your true dispositions will show themselves. In a very strong way.

It’s not that you’re a gluttonous, insatiable vagabond. It’s because no one can really help themselves when it comes to resisting the temptation of chocolates.

19.02.14. Maçãs Fuji

If you want to change yourself, first change your circumstances.

Don’t buy the apple and the chocolate believing that your willpower will be stronger than the temptations. Don’t sabotage yourself. Just buy the apple.

***

If you want to use your phone less, leave it more than an arm away from you. If your phone is in your pocket or in your hand, it’s hard not to check any useless message that arrives (while we desperately try to convince ourselves that they are useful).

It’s not that you’re a smartphone addict. It’s because no one is actually good with the cell phone in hand.

Instead of having it in your pocket, put it in your backpack two meters away. Instead of charging it in your headboard, leave it in the kitchen.

And on the way from the bedroom to the kitchen, have the running clothes ready to be dressed, T-shirt, shorts and sneakers.

And by the charging cell phone, put an apple.

If you want to change yourself, first change your circumstances.

***

Finally, a little piece of wisdom from José Ortega y Gasset:

I am me and my circumstance, and if I don’t save it, I don’t save myself.

***

Original text in Portuguese.

>> Contact me if you notice any English mistakes.

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